Sometimes clients need help resolving personal issues that are not within my expertise. They may need to be able to come to terms with the loss of their marriage and the part they played in it. They frequently have stress and even post traumatic stress disorder. Since I am not equipped to treat them, I will refer them to someone who is. I recently sat down with my friend and colleague, Bill Solz, LCSW, CASAC of StressSolutionsNY.com to talk about how a therapist can be helpful during divorce.
MANY OF MY CLIENTS ARE RESISTANT TO TELLING THEIR LIFE STORY TO “A STRANGER.” WHAT DO YOU SAY TO A PERSON WHO SAYS THEY DON’T LIKE THE IDEA OF THERAPY?
Bill says to tell the person that it can be helpful to take the opportunity to sit with someone who is neutral and present issues to them. They can provide you with meaningful feedback and put things in the proper perspective unlike a friend or relative who feels they know what is best for you. Some people benefit simply from the act of talking and telling their story in a forum where they are not judged. This can provide a release from the stress of keeping it all in.
ASIDE FROM TALK THERAPY, WHAT OTHER KINDS OF HELP CAN YOU OFFER?
Bill is trained in many areas that give individuals quick symptom relief and comprehensive healing including Havening and EMDR. Bill was featured in the book 15 Minutes to Freedom which is about the use of Havening. He is trained in general stress relief, dealing with stress in the workplace, as well as alcohol and substance abuse issues. Bill is recognized by the courts as a certified anger management counselor, and he is also trained in domestic violence. He is an OASAS approved provider. He has worked with many patients who had alcohol and drug abuse issues, and at one point, that was 95% of his practice.
HOW CAN THERAPY HELP WITH ISSUES OF DIVORCE?
Going through a divorce can be an emotional roller-coaster. There are so many issues that an individual needs to come to terms with as life will never be the same. There are a myriad of emotional feelings, learning to deal with the court process or mediation process, new financial demands, relocating, and blending of families to name a few. As a trauma professional Bill is well trained in affording his clients quick symptom relief and comprehensive healing. Sometimes when going through a divorce, an unresolved past trauma may make one’s adjustment that much more difficult. Being able to resolve them allows the person going through the divorce to have a better perspective and deal with the process that much more easily.
HOW DOES GOING TO A THERAPIST HELP WITH THE FUTURE?
Therapy helps set the person up for success in future relationships. Through therapy the person can make life adjustments and rid themselves of a lot of anger and hostility. Being able to release the anger in a healthy way makes them better equipped to accept and deal with any situation they find themselves in. Sometimes we are also prone to repeat mistakes because we have certain blind spots. Being involved in therapy can allow for increased understanding and self awareness that can mitigate making unhealthy choices in the future.
Deborah E. Kaminetzky, Esq.
Kaminetzky Law & Mediation, P.C.
132 Spruce Street
Cedarhurst, New York 11516